Diary of a Daughter
by KaylaBeckett93
Summary: 'You can be your own enemy or your own hero.  Let it out to let it go.'  Evie recieves a journal from her mother, Kate Beckett, for her 13th birthday.  The shadow of her famous father, Richard Castle, is not all it seems.  *AU*
1. Chapter 1

Sunday February 21, 2021 7:30pm

_**Glamorous as ever as she steps out onto the red carpet, Evangeline Castle is to celebrate her 13**__**th**__** birthday this week. The young starlet is already sparking an interest from some of the world's top fashion labels, as well as catching the eye of several Hollywood filmmakers. However, the brunette beauty is yet to make a debut of her own, making do with infrequent appearances at book-signings of her mystery writer father, Richard Castle. With very little known about the star in the making, it's difficult to guess what she will make of these offers. But, for a teen like Evangeline, is there anything she **_**doesn't**_** have?**_

For my 5th birthday, my Dad bought me my first notebook and a matching pen. He encouraged me to write about everything around me. I would detail every little thing I found fascinating; the different people at a subway station, the contrast between Manhattan and Easthampton or the stupid antics of my brothers.

For my 10th birthday, he gave me a full set of Jane Austen's works, all original editions. I've read them all at least 7 times. Each. It amazes me that she can write about a way of life that was so foreign to her with such accuracy. And here we are, a century later, and it's reality, not just fiction.

Normally, it's my Dad who gives me things like that. Novels, stationery, stuff like that. My Mom gives me jewelry, beautiful clothes, make-up and all kinds of girlie things.

But, for my 13th birthday, she gave me a journal. She told me that she didn't like to share her feelings; she felt embarrassed or insecure, like expressing them would make her vulnerable. She told that she saw that same quality in me. In the front of the journal, she left an inscription;

_Evie,_

_You can be your own enemy or your own hero._

_Let it out to let it go._

_Love, Mom_

I'm not sure what it means. I asked her, but she said that one day I'll understand. She said that one day, I'll be glad that I was able to let my emotions be known, if not to others, then at least to myself. That way, you can't hurt the ones you love.

I've never had a journal before. I didn't know what to write. She said to start off with something about myself, that the whole point of having a journal was to understand yourself better. I told her she nuts; I'm 13, not anywhere close to figuring myself out.

So I started with something about myself. Well, it's not really how I see me; it's how the rest of the world sees me. Growing up under the shadow of a successful parent is hard enough, let alone when he's famous. My Mom is like a super-cop, and gets all these great awards all the time, while Dad is constantly on the _New York Times_' Best-Sellers list. Me? I'm the youngest of five (six if you count Alexis) and there is _plenty_ I don't have, despite popular opinion.

I don't have any privacy. One: because my Dad is famous, so people want to know what we're doing every second of every day. Two: because I have four brothers who inherited my Dad's annoying curiosity. Three: my house basically has no walls downstairs, so if you're trying to have a private phone conversation, everyone can hear you. Four: my Dad likes to brag about us kids. _All_ the time!

I don't have time with my family. Mom has a crazy schedule, and my brothers do about six different sports between them. The only day we have dinner together is Sunday, and that's if Mom doesn't have to work.

I don't have many friends. All of the girls at school hate me; Mom says they're jealous because I'm gorgeous, but I'm not that pretty. I still look like a little boy, to be honest. I'm tall for my age, and skinny, with no boobs or butt. I laugh at Mom sometimes, when she says that never stopped her, but she really _is_ beautiful. She should be a runway model, she's that gorgeous. I'm friends with a few of the guys, but it's not the same; you can't talk about how cute the guy on the JV basketball team is _with_ another guy on the JV basketball team.

So, contrary to popular belief, I don't have it all. I'd like to say my life is peachy keen, but it's not. In fact, I'm pretty much like every other 13 year old girl. My parents fight sometimes, a fact I'm pretty sure the tabloids don't know about. My brother's pick on me like crazy, but Mom or Dad are never around to see it. I get bullied at school, but my parents are always at work when the principal calls, so he sends me away.

Sometimes, I wish I could trade in all the fame and fortune for a loving and caring family.

There's a girl at dancing; she's on scholarship at our studio because her Dad left, and her Mom can't find any work. She's an amazing dancer, and an amazing girl. I wish I could live a day in her family. She has an older brother and a little sister, and whenever I see them they're always smiling. They can barely afford to live, but somehow, they're still happy.

I guess what they say is true; money can't buy love or happiness.


	2. Mom's Escape

Monday February 22, 2021 8:15pm

We were supposed to go out for dinner tonight. Mom was meant to call if she couldn't make it home. She didn't.

We were waiting for a two hours; all the while Dad was trying to call her. She finally answered at eight o'clock, and said she was sorry, the case was tough, something about being in Jersey all day and 'they're not done talking about this.'

I don't like it when my parents fight. They've been doing it a lot more lately. I don't want my parents to turn into the crazy celebrities you see in _Cosmo_ or _Ok!_ _Magazine_. They're all screwed.

When Mom got home a couple of minutes ago, Dad took her in the office and they started screaming at each other. You couldn't hear what they were saying, but you could tell it wasn't pretty. They're still in there now, still screaming, while we do our homework. Actually, we're not really doing it; we're all trying to hear what they're saying.

Mom just ran out. Crying. My mother never cries. Dad's angry, like super pissed. The front door slammed, and he just walks back into his study, swearing under his breath.

I'll be back…

Still Monday… 9:30pm

I went out to follow Mom, running to the elevator. But then I heard someone crying, and she was over near the hallway window. We're the only people on our floor, so if anyone's going to barge in, it's going to be another Castle.

She was just staring out the window, tears on her face, sobs in her throat. I felt like I wanted to cry too. My Mom just looked so…small.

I asked her if she was okay, and she said she was fine. I told her that was bull, and maybe let a little swear word out, but she didn't scold me. She actually told me I was right.

Then, she got up, walked right back in that apartment like nothing had happened. I followed her, all the way past the office, where Dad was angrily typing into his laptop. He glanced at Mom, and I've never seen him look at her like that. Normally, when he looks at her, no matter how he's feeling, his eyes will go all soft at the edges, his mouth will gape just a little and he looks at her like she's the only person in the world.

Today, his eyes were full of hatred and betrayal, like she'd stolen his favorite toy in the playground or something ridiculous. Anyway, I followed her to her bedroom, and she started packing an overnighter.

I asked her what she was doing, and she told me she's going to stay at Lanie's. I reminded her Lanie was in Fiji, taking advantage of her vacation days.

She said she'd stay at Grandpa's, only I had to tell her he's in Canada. She reeled off about 50 hotels in the city that she could possibly go to, and I could tell she was getting angry.

"_Evie, go finish your homework," said Kate, waving a disregarding hand at her only daughter._

"_Mom, please, just tell me what's wrong," Evie pleaded, the nagging tears marring her speech, but it only made her mother more determined. _

_Sighing in frustration, Kate turned to the young girl. _

"_Evangeline, go back to the kitchen, clean up with your brothers and then go to bed," she commanded, her eyes hard and unyielding. _

_Evie matched the aggression in Kate's eyes, not daring to blink. Blinking showed weakness in the eyes of an enemy; her mother had taught her that._

"_Only if you promise you're still going to be here in the morning," she said, her bottom lip protesting against its immobile state, as it quivered under the hold of her teeth._

"_Evie, please –"_

"_No, Mom!" Evie cried, "You don't get it! You're always at work! You're never here for any of us! You promised you'd make it tonight, and you didn't. And you know what? Dad was there; he's always there –"_

"_He can be –"_

"_So can you!"_

_A moment of silence passed between the pair, before Evie began to speak again._

"_It's like you don't even care about us anymore…"_

She's staying at a hotel somewhere in Midtown. She wouldn't say where. Mike keeps saying stuff about Mom, and I almost agree with him. He's saying she's such a flake, and why is it so difficult for her to be here.

We all know what her job is like; how time-consuming it is, and it was acceptable. Until she started missing out on things.

When Mike played his first Varsity football game, she was working. When Riley's basketball team became National Champions, she was called to a crime scene. When Jack was chosen for the New York Under 16's baseball team, she was training rookies. When Zack was the All-Around Champion at the Youth Elite Gymnastics Championships, she got called in. When I got a place in the Lincoln Center Junior Ballet program, she was in D.C. at some FBI seminar.

Every now and then, we don't mind; but she just keeps getting so caught up in her work. Every second year, she misses Christmas. And if she _is_ there for Christmas, she misses Thanksgiving. She can never come to the Hamptons for more than a weekend in the summer because of work.

Mom just called my cell. She told me where she's staying. She's at Hotel Pennsylvania, over on 7th and 33rd. So, I'm throwing all rational thinking out the window here, and I'm going to go over there. I mean, why else would she tell me where she was staying?

Wish me luck.


	3. Brother Dilemmas and Ballet Dancing

Tuesday February 23rd 7:45pm

I am in _so_ much trouble. Well, off Dad anyways. Mom was happy to see me; as happy as she could be at the moment. When I got to the hotel, they asked me if I was Evangeline Castle, and gave me a key for her room. I guess Mom knows me too well.

I headed up to find her crying on her bed. We didn't say anything, I just went up and sat beside her, gave her a hug. It felt so backwards, you know? It's the Mom's job to comfort the daughter, not the other way around.

When I woke up this morning, she was brewing coffee in the kitchen, dressed in her work clothes. She said she'd take me home to get dressed then drop me at school on her way to work.

**X X X X X**

_Evie woke up with the sun streaming on her face. She turned over, swatting the space where her mother should have been gently, only to find it empty. Sitting up, she looked around the hotel room, and noticed Kate in the kitchen. _

"_Morning, Evie," she said, smiling, a cup of coffee in one hand and a mug of what was presumably hot chocolate in the other. Smiling as she accepted the mug, Evie took a sip before placing it down on the bedside table. Kate checked her watch, before she began to stand up._

"_Come on, we better get going," she said, "Or you're going to be late."_

_Nodding, Evie pulled herself out of bed; she'd fallen asleep in her clothes last night, so with a quick ruffle of her hair and pulling on her shoes, she was ready to leave. _

"_Mom, are you gonna be home for dinner tonight?" Evie blurted, leaving subtlety behind, her eyes boring into her mother's. _

_Kate sighed; she knew the confrontation was coming sooner or later, and Evie would be the one to force it. _

"_I don't know, sweetie," she said sadly, her eyes downcast and misty, "it depends."_

"_Depends on what?" Evie demanded. She wasn't going to accept her mother's avoidance issues, they'd caused enough problems in the past. _

"_It depends on your father," Kate said, "whether he's willing to let me back in again."_

"_Well, maybe you should apologize," Evie said, "god knows he probably has a point."_

"_Where is this coming from?"_

"_You know exactly where this is coming from, Mom," she said, breathing deeply to stop herself from yelling, "you know why you guys fight all the time, you just don't seem to do anything about it."_

"_Evangeline, it's none of your concern –"_

"_Really? Because you're my parents – so I'm pretty damn sure that means it's my business!"_

"_Well, it's not," Kate whispered, "now come on, we're leaving."_

**X X X X X**

Home was awkward. Mom walked in, and Dad was cooking breakfast for the boys. Mike was studying for an exam, so he wasn't really paying attention, but Zack's eyes were glued on Mom. I don't know where the twins were.

Dad asked me to 'explain myself', so I told him the truth. I said I was worried about Mom, so I went to go see her. For the moment, he seemed a little pissed, but didn't say anything. I told him I'd already eaten, which I think angered him more, but I told him I had class to get to. I had to finish my language assignment. It was due today, and I had spent far too much time rehearsing for ballet than anything else. If my parents found out, I'm screwed.

That's why Mike was studying; he failed a class because he was always training for…was it swimming in Winter? I'm not sure, but whatever sport he's doing, he was training for that practically 24/7, and he failed. Sucker.

He was meant to be training this morning, but instead he was studying for his make-up exam.

Ha! Mike is totally stressing that he failed. It's so funny, because he _never_ cares about schoolwork. But, apparently, because he managed to pass his entrance exam two years ago, he should be able to cope at Stuy, at least according to Dad.

Zack is taking his entrance exam for Stuy next month. He's in the 8th grade, so he starts high school next year. He goes to I.S. 289, and he says it's great. I'm in the 7th grade, but I don't go there; I got into the Ballet Tech School when I was 9, and I've been there since 4th grade.

I know, you'd think I'd be sick of ballet; I do it every day at school and afterward, as well as a class on Saturdays. Mom says that's what it takes to be the best. I don't care much for being the best, I just love ballet. It was a total cliché growing up, because I'd tell all my teachers and babysitters I wanted to be a ballerina when I was older. They all told me it was a phase, but here I am, 13 years old and it's still my dream.

So, phase my ass!

When I'm 16, I'm going for an apprenticeship at the New York City Ballet. You get to be in their company for about a year, and if they think you're good enough, they take you on as a permanent member. At least, that's how Mom explained it anyway. She said they'd be crazy not to accept me, but I shouldn't get discouraged if I'm not.

I told her that it doesn't matter, I just want to dance. I've been doing it for almost ten years, and I've been dancing at the School of American Ballet since I was six. A lot of the girls there are really nasty and competitive, but some of them are nice.

All of my friends at SAB go to Ballet Tech too, so we see each other _all_ the time. Lilly lives not far from me, over on West Broadway, but Payton lives in the East Village and Tessa lives up in East Harlem. Grace, the leader of our group, I guess, she lives right near the Lincoln Center on West 54th. I think we could practically call her parents 'Mom' and 'Dad' by now; we're _always_ there!

Well, for now, my biological parents are making nice with one another, Mike is freaking out and me and Zack are laughing at him. Riley's still at basketball, but I can hear Jack's music from here. Unfortunately.

But, dessert's calling!


	4. Castle Family Values

Wednesday February 24 9:15pm

I am still up. My parents spent the evening screaming at each other. I waited at ballet for an hour after class before Mike came to pick me up. Told me that Mom and Dad were fighting again. When we got home, Jack, Riley and Zack were sitting on the stairs, out of sight, listening as they shouted in the living room.

**X X X X X**

"_Rick, I don't understand why this is such a big deal!"_

"_Oh, you don't, huh?" he shouted angrily, barely noticing the appearance of Evie and Mike in the doorway or acknowledging their movement up the stairs._

"_I try, okay?" Kate exclaimed, her hands on her hips, "I try my hardest to be here for our kids but –"_

"_Well, obviously your hardest isn't good enough!"_

"_Gee, I'm sorry Mr. Mystery Writer," she yelled, arms flying up in rage, "that I can't just sit at home on a laptop and say I'm working."_

"_Well, maybe you should give it up," Rick said, beckoning a silence from his wife. They'd talked about her retirement from the force before, but not nearly often enough to say exactly when it would happen. She wasn't old, but she wasn't exactly young anymore either. _

"_You're telling me to quit my job?" she asked, her arms moving in to fold across her chest, a look of hurt and disbelief spreading over her face._

_On the stairs, Evie was clinging to Riley's hand her head leaning on Mike's shoulder. Jack was against the wall, his head back, eyes closed in frustration. Zack was behind Evie, his arm draped over her shoulder, the other holding him up as he sat. Their parents never fought like this, ever. It was starting to be too much for them all, with Mike even seriously contemplating moving out. _

"_Sorry, you couldn't give it up," Rick added, acid in his voice, "it's the most important thing in your life –"_

"_No, my family is the most important thing –"_

"_Well you managed to give up on them!"_

_Kate took a few steps forward, her arms crossed tightly, her eyes hard, but with tears hinting at the edges. _

"_What are you saying, Rick?" she asked calmly, stopping only a few feet from him. He didn't move at all, his own gaze severe and vicious._

"_I'm saying you need to make a decision," Rick explained, "you need to figure out where you stand."_

"_Where I stand –"_

"_Yes, where you stand!" he cried, "Because at the moment, you're standing with one foot out the door!"_

"_So is this you pushing me all the way out?" she cried, taking another step forward, closing the distance between them rapidly. _

"_Only if you make the wrong choice," Rick added calmly, his blue eyes staring down at Kate's green ones, piercing them with rage and demand. _

"_You're making me choose between my family and my job?" she asked incredulously, taken aback at his unwavering expression, "You know I can't do that."_

_Rick sighed, a mix of hurt and sarcastic sympathy playing across his face, "Well, guess you better start packing then."_

"_Oh, so you're kicking me out?" she exclaimed, watching him turn away, headed for his office, "Hey!"_

_She reached out a hand, wrenching his shoulder back toward her viciously, causing his hand to fly out, striking her across the face with the back of his hand. _

_There was a collective gasp from everyone in the house at the sound of knuckles on cheekbone, Kate fighting the tears, while Rick stood motionless, shocked by what he'd just done. _

_Evie was close to tears upstairs, her body shaking to hold in the sobs; she couldn't believe what she was hearing._

"_Kate, I – I'm so-"_

"_No!" she cried, standing, one hand on her face, the other out toward him, palm raised, "Stay away from me!"_

**X X X X X**

Mom left. She packed up her things and was gone. This time, she didn't say where she was going. I ran to my bedroom window, which faces the street. I watched her walk out the front door and stop at the curb, drop her bags, then collapse, shaking in a heap of trench coat and brown hair. I didn't care about the consequences anymore; not why she was down there, which was definitely her own fault, not why she may never come back. I just had to go to her.

**X X X X X**

"_Evie, where are –"_

"_Shut up, Mike!"_

"_Evie!"_

_She sprinted down the stairs to the living room, diving into her ballet bag to pull out her keys. _

"_And where do you think you're going?" her father asked from his vantage point, atop a bar stool in the kitchen, tears in his eyes, whiskey in his hand. _

"_I'm going to see Mom," she said, her own green eyes that were reputed to be so much like her mother's glowering at him before she made for the door. He didn't try to stop her, and she didn't turn back. _

_She flew down the stairs, her impatience swaying her from the elevator, reaching the lobby in record time. Outside, her mother was now on her feet, loading her suitcase into the trunk of a cab._

"_Mom, no!"_

_She ran out through the revolving glass door, catapulting herself into her surprised mother's arms. Kate didn't know what to make of her only daughter running at her, except that this was the second time in two days she'd come after her._

"_Mom, please don't go!" Evie cried, sobbing into the soft material of Kate's trench coat, her arms squeezing tight enough for her to never escape. _

"_Evie, go back inside and –"_

"_No!"_

"_Evie!"_

"_No, Mom!" she exclaimed, letting go and stepping back, her eyes fierce, "I'm not letting you run away again!"_

"_I'm not running away, I –"_

"_Need some time and space, yeah I've heard the speech," Evie added curtly, "whatever you want to dress it up as, you're still abandoning us!"_

_Kate's face fell, her bottom lip quivered, tears filled her eyes._

"_You try, Mom, I get it," Evie began, "but you don't try hard enough! You're never there when we need you to be, and Dad always is."_

"_So you're laying into me too?" Kate interrupted angrily, "Punishing me for missing out? I thought that was punishment enough."_

_Evie stopped, stared at her mother, her eyes flickering and her hands clenching intermittently to fists. _

"_You are not the only victim, Kate."_

_With that, she turned on her heel, her skirt flowing after her as she walked purposefully, head high, back into the building. Kate was left flabbergasted, shocked, on the brink of tears. _

"_Hey, lady, you still wanna ride?" _

_Shocked out of her reverie, she turned to the cabbie, giving him a quick nod before she climbed in the back seat. Wiping away a rebellious tear, she pondered, as the lights of the city flew by her. _

_Wondered how she could manage to be disowned by her daughter…_

**X X X X X**

I'm not proud of what I did. I didn't want to leave her, but she couldn't see it. I'm sitting on the bottom step of my apartment, watching my Dad drown himself in the whiskey bottle that was full when I went downstairs. Now, it's almost empty.

I don't want this to happen; no doubt it'll be in the papers tomorrow.

'_Rick's mistress expelled from the Castle'_ or some other ridiculous pun. I can't stand the thought that everyone is going to know that my parents are fighting.

Oh god, Dad has a book signing tomorrow at 10:30am! Great, now they're going to say he's an alcoholic too!

I have to do something, I mean, I've already let Mom go, I'm not prepared to do the same for Dad.

**X X X X X**

**Well, what do we think? I don't have much to say, really, just that I want to know what you guys think of the mixing of real-life events with her diary entries. Which do you prefer, which would you like to see more of, is it too distracting etc. Just let me know so I can cater (:**

**Kayla x**


	5. Interrogation Mission

Thursday February 25 2021 7:15am

Dad is hung over. Bad. Paula turned up about 15 minutes ago, creating quite the entrance as usual, and now she's grilling him about the 'importance of appearances'. I think that's the least of his worries.

Fortunately, as Dad says he has a 'good' hangover today, despite the empty whiskey bottle in the recycle heap. To be honest, he doesn't _look_ hungover, he's just moving like he is, but he can mask that, I hope.

I tried to call Mom this morning. I called from my cell and hid my number; that way she wouldn't have a chance to hang up on her without answering.

**X X X X X**

"_Beckett."_

"_Mom? It's Evie," the young girl began worriedly, "Are you okay? Where –"_

"_Evie, you should be getting ready for school," Kate scolded, "you leave in an hour."_

"_Are you coming to take me on your way to work?" she asked hopefully, hearing the silence on the other end, followed by a sigh._

"_Uh, Evie, I don't think that's such a great idea," her mother started, "your father and I aren't exactly on speaking terms."_

_Absent-mindedly, Kate's hand moved to her cheek, wincing as her fingers passed over the bruise that had appeared on her cheekbone. The dark blue and purple mess had ended up worse, simply because it had been bone meeting bone, and she feared make-up would not cover it._

"_Mom, don't pretend like we don't know what's going on," Evie demanded, "you were loud enough to be heard from China last night."_

"_Yeah well, good little children don't eavesdrop –"_

"_Good mothers don't leave their kids behind."_

_That statement stopped Kate, the sound of her footsteps telling Evie she was moving, and moving quickly. _

"_Mom, we know that Dad, uh…" Evie began uncertainly, not sure whether she should continue or not. Surely her mother would understand what she was referring to…_

"_Evie, I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Kate added quickly, "besides, it's not for you to be concerned about."_

"_Not my concern?" Evie scoffed, "So when my parents are divorced, and I'm splitting weekends between them in some mixed up excuse of a family, are you gonna say that it's not my concern?"_

**X X X X X**

Mom isn't going to work today. She's using her sick days until she can hide the bruise; said she doesn't need this hitting the papers.

Paula is still in the study with my Dad, and I'm still sitting at the breakfast bar, wondering what the hell I'm going to eat. The boys aren't exactly the greatest company in the mornings. Mostly, it consists of giant bowls of cereal, burping, ugly boxer shorts and, on the unfortunate occasion, farting.

My mornings are NOT pretty. I usually find it easiest to get in first, then leave before I'm overrun, but that didn't seem to be too successful today. So I guess I'm going breakfastless to school today. If Gram were here, she'd whack me over the head with a purse.

**X X X X X**

Still Thursday 8:30pm

Mike had to pick me up from ballet again today. Apparently, Dad's been drowning himself in whiskey (or was it scotch this time?) since before the boys got home from school. I had asked how they knew, since the bottle on the bench looked fairly full, and they said there were two more empties in the bin. Tomorrow morning, I am getting up early, and I'm going to see Mom before school. I called her after school today, and she said she was going already at work for a case.

**X X X X X**

"_Beckett."_

"_Hey Mom!" Evie greeted, trying as hard as she could to sound cheery. She actually sounded pretty convincing._

"_Oh, hey sweetie, how was school?" Kate asked, returning similar enthusiasm, considering. Evie had to grin to herself, feeling herself practically glowing that her mother sounded so happy. She just hoped that was because she was at work and busy, not because she wasn't with Rick._

"_School was school," Evie said with a laugh, rounding the corner and walking into a café. It was where she stopped everyday on her way to ballet for an afternoon snack. Then, she caught the subway to the Lincoln Center and waited. And waited. _

"_And you're on your way to ballet?" Kate asked, "Getting something to eat, I hope!"_

_Evie laughed, "Yes, to both!"_

_If her parents were never together or happy again, Evie would cherish that moment where they shared laughter. It was exuberant, genuine, and she could feel the love oozing out of her mother's decibels. _

"_Look, Evie, I'm sorry I can't talk for longer, I'm actually about to do an interrogation," she explained, "but you have fun at ballet, okay?"_

"_Okay Mom," Evie replied, "have fun catching bad guys!"_

"_Oh, always, sweetie," Kate added, another laugh escaping her, "I love you."_

"_I love you too, Mom."_

**X X X X X**

It was one of the best phone conversations of my life. Anyway, I texted Mom, and she said she'd be in the station at 6am, so I'm going to be there at 7am. She doesn't know yet; I just pretended to be playfully criticizing her for working too hard. This was her reply:

_Starting 6am isnt working 2 hard! 20hrs of ballet each week is working 2 hard!_

She really is happier than she's been in a while. Then there's Dad, who's now onto his fourth bottle for the day. I don't think he's gonna wake up until Monday.

I just hope that Mom doesn't discover having space is a good thing. Hopefully, like in those clichéd rom-com movies, she realized just how much she loves Dad, and, even though he drives her mad like he does the rest of us, she'll realize just how much she needs him. And how much he needs her.

What the hell kind of world am I living in?

**X X X X X**

**Sorry for the lengthy time between updates, but uh, yeah, just sorry (:**

**Hope you like it!**

**Kayla x**


	6. Confrontation

Friday February 26 2021 6:45am

There are some interesting characters on a subway in the mornings. I can't imagine what it might be like on a Saturday or Sunday after a big night out. Ha!

I left the house early; didn't even have to make up a story, Dad was passed out in his study. I took the half-empty whiskey and all the full bottles out of the liquor cabinet. They're hidden in my room for the moment, at least until I can get Gram or Grandpa to get rid of them. Dad doesn't need anymore.

Mike has Study Hall first period, so he's going to keep an eye on Dad until he leaves for school. Jack and Riley are coming home for lunch, and Zack finishes early on Fridays. I finish ballet early on Fridays too, thank goodness. Need to make sure Dad hasn't sniffed out the alcohol.

I'm on my way to see Mom at the 12th, so I can tell her about Dad. It'll be the first time I've seen her in two days. I don't think I've ever gone this long without seeing my Mom; it's irrational really, considering how angry I am at her, but I can't help but miss her. Stupid human psychology crap.

The streets are deceivingly busy at this time of morning. My handwriting right now is _disgusting_, because I'm trying to dodge random joggers or passers-by. I doubt they realize I don't actually care about their dirty looks. Well, I'm here; wish me luck!

**X X X X X**

_Shivering, Evie pulled her scarf tighter around her neck, as she made her way quickly from the street and into the police station. Heading for the elevator, she gave a small nod and smile to the security guy, who looked a little too grey around the edges, before pressing the button that would take her to Homicide. _

_The ride was quick, and she sucked in a breath as the doors dinged open. Evie strode quickly into the precinct, eyeballing her mother who was facing away from her. She contemplated stopping, turning around and running back out again, but she had a job to do._

_Before she could think of her approach strategies, Kate stood up and turned in her direction, presumably headed for the break room. Both brunettes stopped, eyes wide as they stared at each other. For the first time since she began to talk, Evie didn't know what to say. _

"_Evie, what are you doing here?" Kate asked, an accusatory tone to her words, crossing her arms awaiting a reply. _

_The younger decided it was best to play it safe, shrugging in reply._

"_I thought I'd get a jump start on my day," Evie began, "except my jump start was a little too eager."_

"_Ah-huh…"_

_Evie never could lie to her mother; she had a look, where her eyes narrowed, her mouth slightly ajar, as if she were sucking the confession out of you._

"_Mom, you need to come home," she blurted, as the green eyes staring into hers intensified. There were no words shared, only an inclination of Kate's head as she led her daughter to one of the interview rooms. _

"_Evie, I don't what your intentions are by ambushing me at work, but this is _not_ something that we should be talking about publicly," she explained, closing the door quickly, her tone stern but not yet angry._

"_Mom, if I don't talk to you now, Dad's gonna lose it," Evie said, "He's already drowned himself in six whiskey bottles since you left!"_

_Evie watched the fear take over her mother's eyes, as well as the tears. She knew of her grandfather's battles with alcohol after her grandmother died, and just how much it had affected Kate. _

"_He's drinking?" she murmured, her voice a quiet, shaky whisper, "Why? Why would he – just, no, he can't be – w-why would he do that?"_

**X X X X X**

Friday again 9:30am

The last few days have seen me experiencing a whole new side of my mother. The vulnerable side, the 'Kate' part of her persona. When I told her about Dad, she broke down, her whole body just shaking. I couldn't get her to stop.

After she finally calmed enough for it to just be tears, she told me I wouldn't be going to school just yet. We drove home, running a few red lights, going a little too fast, and we got home in record time.

When we got there, the boys were eating breakfast – it was about 7:15 at the time. Mike had gotten up first (after me), and had shut the study door on Dad. When we started to go over, he told us he was still sleeping, but Mom gave him one of _those_ looks.

Well, he wasn't asleep; he was sitting at his desk. The room smelled like stale beer and vomit. I wondered where the smell of sick had come from; until he keeled over and retching came from over the other side of his desk.

Mom told me to go wait in the kitchen, and shut the door behind me. I wasn't going to argue, it smelled _awful_ in there. I figured Mom was going to give him one of her talks, although, I'm pretty sure he wasn't exactly in a listening kind of mood.

**X X X X X**

_Kate had feared, after she'd sent her daughter out, that she would have a massive clean-up effort after this. As she rounded the desk, prepared for the worst, but was relieved when she saw him bent over a bucket. She gave it to him, he was prepared for hangovers. _

"_Rick?"_

_His eyes didn't move from the red bucket in front of him, and for the moment Kate was thankful, as he continued to empty his stomach. There was a pause, where he groaned loudly and lolled back against the desk, his eyes falling on Kate. She watched his face soften, as a smile reached its way across his face. _

"_Katie, what are you doin' here?" he asked, a hand clinging to his forehead, his eyes closing gently against the sunlight streaming in._

"_Rick, why are you drinking?" Kate whispered, a hand resting on his arm. She felt his breathing deepen; she figured fighting the urge to be sick. Again._

"_Be-cause you l-l-left me Katie," he slurred, his hands falling down by his sides, his bloodshot blue eyes looking wearily at her. _

_Shaking her head, she began to stand, extending a hand his way, which he took slowly. It was difficult, hoisting up her drunken husband, but she managed, grunting as his body weight fell on her._

"_Katie, where're we goin'?" he asked, shuffling along with her down the hall. He sighed as they reached the shadows, humming softly as they went, his hands forming conducting motions in the air. _

_Kate couldn't help but laugh to herself at his antics, but she knew the circumstances were not at all comical. It was her fault he was like this. Her fault that, even by the morning after, he was still drunk from a night of excessive drinking. _

"_You, Richard, are going to bed –"_

"_Nooooo! I don't wanna, Katie!" he whined, trying to stop, but stumbling, his vulnerable state allowing Kate to tug him along gently. _

_She didn't reply, hoping the lack of interaction would work on him as it would on a small child. As they reached the bedroom, she lowered him onto the bed, the covers still back. Since he'd fallen asleep at his desk, he was still fully clothed; shirt, jeans, belt and shoes. _

"_Kaaatiiieee!" he whined again, "I'm not sleepy!"_

"_Richard, you are extremely drunk, and you _will_ go to bed," she scolded, pulling his shoes off before making a move for his belt._

"_Ooh, now I see why you want me to go to bed," Rick added, nodding crudely, a grin on his face as he began to giggle. Yes, giggle. _

_Kate refused to respond, removing his belt, then pointing to the pillow. His face was an expression of contentment, his eyes closing and a close-lipped smile dancing on his face. He began humming again as his body flopped on the bed, a grunt escaping him on impact due to his sore head. _

"_Ow! Katie, what'd you do that for?" Rick exclaimed, moaning as Kate began to help him out of his jeans._

"_Come on Rick, even you couldn't sleep in jeans," she muttered, drunken giggling escaping him again as she grunted. She'd never had these kind of problems removing his pants before, had she?_

"_Makes you wonder how we got five kids when you can't even get my pants off!" Rick cried, the giggling escalating to a loud chuckle, followed by ecstatic laughter._

_Unfortunately, he could read her mind even when he was drunk. That sucked. Still she was successful, throwing them aside before making quick work of his shirt buttons. Kate could see him slowly drifting to sleep, pushing him gently from side to side to remove the burgundy shirt from his arms._

_Sighing at her work, Kate watched Rick sleep. He was still humming; a habit that sometimes lulled her to sleep at night too. Unable to stop a grin, she leaned forward and left a gentle kiss on his head, before she stood and began to walk out. _

"_Katie, don't go again, 'kay?" Rick mumbled, his head facing her but his eyes remaining closed, "Just promise you'll stay, 'kay? Don't go again…just stay…"_

_Tears overtook her, as she slowly, slower than before, began to ease the door open to head out._

"_Katie?"_

"_Rick, go to sleep, okay?" she added in a shaky whisper._

"_Katie, I love you."_

**X X X X X**

The boys left for school while Mom was in with Dad. They said it was probably better that I be the one to stay. And they were right.

I waited on the couch for her to come out, which she did after about ten or so minutes. She was crying. She took one look around the apartment, saw me and practically ran over. I'd never seen her so broken before. She sunk in beside me, curled into a ball and cried. Just cried, all curled up in my side. She clung to my shirt, like she was never going to let go again. I was clutching her pretty hard too, our arms all tangled in and around each other.

And then, we were crying together.

**X X X X X**

**This story is driving me at the minute; it's bugging me, and it needed some sort of a resolution, so you lucky ducks get another chapter! :D**

**Kayla x**


	7. We Went To The Zoo

Saturday February 27 2021 9:30am

Dad spent the whole of yesterday sleeping. Mom spent the whole of yesterday crying. As far as I go, I spent the day finishing all my homework. The boys had come home as early as they could, and we all helped Mom make dinner. At about six, the smell of food must have drawn him in, cos Dad came out to join us. We sat at the table, all of us just sitting and talking.

It felt different though. There was a kind of heaviness over all our conversations, even though it never ventured further than how school or sports were for us. There were too many awkward silences to count, and they were unbearable.

This morning, we all had a cooked breakfast together. Mom had stayed the night, but she bunked with me. Not by her choice; she was going to sleep on the couch, and I told her she was an idiot. So, she ended up in my room.

I have a gap in classes at ballet today; normally, Riley has a soccer game, but the opposition had to forfeit from injury. Jack's baseball club closed down last season, so he didn't play this time around, and also has this particular Saturday morning available. Zack is already at gymnastics, but he finishes at 12.30pm, and Mike doesn't do any weekend sports, he just works afternoons at the Rockefeller.

But, today he's not working, so what is the Castle family doing on this lovely, late winter day? Well, we're going to the zoo. Yup, the zoo. You'd think my father would have grown out of his fascination with the place, but obviously not. Mom says it's because he fits in so spectacularly.

I was threatened to be left at the zoo once. I was 6, and I didn't want to leave, so they said I could sleep with the gorillas. I thought it would be a great idea until they actually started to leave. Without me!

Well, needless to say I ran pretty quick. Like what I have to do now, cos otherwise my ballet teacher is going to kick my ass if I'm late.

**X X X X X**

Still Saturday 8:00pm

We had a great day at the zoo. I had a flashback moment to when I was a kid – well, I still am a kid, but I mean when I was like, three. It was one of the very first few times I'd ever been to the zoo, in Summer 2011. I was, like I said, three years old, Zack was four, the twins were five and Mike was seven.

"_Momma, look!" Riley exclaimed, racing over and pointing excitedly at the lion enclosure, followed closely by his twin brother, Jack._

"_Daddy, it's Simba!" Jack cried, bouncing and pointing to the lion cub that was eyeing the growing crowds curiously. _

_The two boys were soon joined by their oldest brother who was also gawking at the big cats roaming the huge space. Following closely behind were their parents, each carrying their two youngest children, Zack and Evie. When they reached the barrier, Rick let Zack stand with his brothers, watching their four boys pick out which of the lions was their favorite. So far, Jack and Riley were fighting over 'Simba'._

"_Look, Evie, what's that?" Rick cooed to the little girl in his wife's arms, her eyes following his gesture over to the huge lion atop the outcrop, her eyes widening as a gasp escaped her. _

"_Lion!" she whispered in her mother's ear, a smile breaking onto her face, "Like Mufasa!" _

_Kate and Rick chuckled quietly as they watched their youngest child and only daughter gaze at the great beast, before her attention was caught elsewhere. _

"_Lookie, Momma!" she cried, pointing at two playful cubs, "Simba and Nala!" _

_Kate smiled at her excitable Evie, watching her eyes move from the lions and start to gaze around the rest of the zoo. Turning to allow her to see, she took a few steps away from the enclosure, talking to her softly as she went._

"_What can you see, Evie bear?" Kate asked, those curious blue eyes she adored so much searching the space around them. They made slow circles to see the expanse of the zoo, the boys still mesmerized by the lions, as Evie looked out, craning her neck to see as far as she could._

"_I see…" she started, her little voice making her mother's heart melt, "elephants over there, next to the giraffes. And there is the tigers! Right there!"_

_Kate followed the pointing finger of her little girl, over to where the striped cats were lounging in the sun, laying about in the grass._

"_They lazy tigers, Momma," Evie stated, giggling as she watched one roll and yawn, swatting at a nearby bug._

"_They sure are, Evie bear," Kate replied, gently lowering the young girl's feet to the ground, watching her walk right up to the enclosure barriers, peering in in awe._

"_Mommy, can we go see bears?" she asked eagerly, turning and gazing up at Kate, before her mother was squatting, at her eye level. _

"_Why don't we go get the boys first?" she said, blue eyes gazing past her in the direction they had just come from._

"_But they're coming," she insisted, Kate spinning to find they were in fact headed their way, conversation passing exuberantly between the four sons and their father. _

"_Okay, baby girl, we'll go see the bears," Kate agreed, arms reaching around Evie as she lifted her onto her hip, watching the grin erupt on her face as they began to move._

"_Alright, kids, where are we going next?" Rick asked, the boys too distracted by their lion talk to answer. Luckily, Evie was paying full attention to her father._

"_Bears! Bears! Bears!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands under her chin in excitement, smiling at Rick's chuckling._

"_Aye, aye, Evie bear!" he exclaimed, ushering the boys along, Kate and Evie following as he continued to speak, "And what's your favorite bear, Evie?"_

"_Kodiak!" _

"_And why is that?" _

"_Cos they're the biggest and bestest!"_

Ah, I'll never forget how much I loved bears. I can't remember whether I actually liked them, or whether I only did cos Mom called me Evie Bear. Actually, sometimes she still does, but not a whole lot. It's kind of a little kid thing, but I did like it. I was the only one who Mom treated with a special nickname. I used to call her Momma Bear in return. Might have to re-ignite a tradition, though not the one where you buy hot dogs from a cart in the park. I can't say I've missed _that_ taste.


	8. We'll Work It Out

Sunday February 28 2021 10:00am

Mom and Dad are 'discussing' in the study. I'm (meant to be) finishing my homework with Zack, but Mike, Jack and Riles went out today. I don't think our parents know that we're still here, because the door is open, so we can hear everything. They're not fighting yet, thank god, but I can't imagine it's going to be far away.

Actually, I'm staying positive; they sound like they're going to stay pretty civil. I hope…

**X X X X X**

"_Kate, I know how important your job is to you," Rick began, sitting upright in his chair, she sitting opposite him atop the desk, "What I said…I shouldn't expect you to give it up."_

"_No, you shouldn't," she agreed, "but you were right about why I should."_

_Rick sighed, watching her wrestle internally with what they were discussing. It had been no question that, one day, she would eventually retire from the force, and her plan was to gradually reduce her hours and days as she got older. But now, at 40, her hours were getting longer than they'd ever been before, and it was starting to take its toll on her personal life. _

"_I remember when Mike was born, I never wanted to leave him," she began, smiling, "I thought he was the most beautiful thing in the world."_

"_He was 6 months old before you even made it back to work," Rick laughed, "and even then you called every hour just to make sure he was okay."_

_Smiling to herself, Kate shook her head; she had been, and still was, very over-protective of her kids, especially Evie. She was her little girl and nothing could change that, no matter how much she was growing up. _

"_Rick, I, uh…" she began, before sighing, dropping her eyes to the floor. Kate was finding it difficult to explain herself, or moreso, what she was going to do with her life. Hell, she didn't even _know_ what she wanted to do. On one hand, she could retire early, knowing that the only reason she kept to her work was because she lived for it. Financially, there was really no reason for her to be working at all, not with Rick's income. That would mean her family would make a greater appearance in her life, something she would be grateful for._

_But, at the same time, they were all growing up and out; Mike was in the eleventh grade, going to college in 18 months, Zack was starting high school next semester, with Evie following the year after. She wondered just how much longer she could keep blinking and finding them four steps closer to their own lives. _

_That made her both want to be around, cherish them while she could, but also begin slowly letting them go, ready for when it really was just she and Rick living in this big old loft all by themselves. Hell, who was she kidding, she was already growing apart from them._

"_Kate, I know you won't retire," Rick added calmly, a hand falling on hers, "and, to be honest, I couldn't ask you to. But, maybe you could take on a lesser role at the station, or…something."_

_Nodding, Kate was able to lift her bleary eyes to his, looking straight into the deep blue that got her lost and confused, no matter how many times she gazed into them. _

"_I'll talk to the Captain," she began, her brow furrowing, thinking as she spoke, "see if I can do strictly 9-5, Monday to Friday with the exemption of serious casework."_

"_Isn't that what you were supposed be doing now?" Rick asked, concerned._

"_Uh, sort of," she sighed, "but, uh…It's going to be difficult."_

"_Yeah, but Kate, you have a family to think about –"_

"_So does every other cop in that precinct, including the captain!"_

_Rick's mouth opened then closed, as he struggled to find the words that could possibly help this situation. Unfortunately, he couldn't find any right now._

"_We'll figure it out, Kate," Rick managed, a hand squeezing her knee gently, strained smiles exchanged between the two._

**X X X X X**

Mom and Dad sound like they're making progress. But, I don't think it'll be over just yet, not until Mom figures out where she is with work. Or, us, for that matter.

People are starting to ask questions; my ballet teachers, Mike's school teachers, a few of the other coaches. They're wondering why we seem to be suddenly on our own. We're lucky, we managed to inherit Mom's talent at brushing off sensitive topics when the occasion calls. Although, I'm still not sure that's a good thing.

But, tonight will be the first tell of whether or not they'll crack under pressure. Dad has a book party (I know, weird for a Sunday night, but luckily, it's mid-winter break, so no school tomorrow!) and we're all going. Because the press needs more of a reason to talk about me like I'm something to ogle at.

It's hilarious though, because Zack is just like Dad; he totally laps up the limelight, and it actually makes me laugh. Like, out loud, in his face. Ha!

Anyways, that's why we have to finish our homework, or else we can't go, and despite being picked on by paparazzi, I actually enjoy going. I'm a girl, so I'm going for the dressing up part. Duh!

And, it's great fun to laugh at Mike in his suit! He _hates_ wearing them! And I swear, the twins are like, the Weasley twins from _Harry Potter_, they are the biggest trouble-makers ever. Then there's me, little quiet Evangeline Castle, with the stars in her eyes and the world at her feet.

Look out, I might step on ya!

**X X X X X**

**Well, read, review and…yeah, read and review (:**


	9. Picture Perfect Fairy Tale Family

Monday March 1 2021 10am

Mid-winter break is amazing. It means I can get up at a time I'd normally be in about my third class of the day. It's too bad I have an English assignment due for when we get back. Ugh! They want to work us until our fingers bleed!

Bright side, last night was a total success. At least, according to the tabloids.

I went online this morning and discovered that we're a _'Picture Perfect Fairytale Family_' and that we couldn't 'look happier in the limelight'.

Mom looked stunning; her dress was this sleek, red satin piece of amazing that made her look totally hot! Dad had on his best suit, matching Mom to perfection with his best kid-in-a-candy-store grin. Mike actually didn't complain about having to wear his suit either, which made _me_ a whole lot happier! The twins managed to only create minimal trouble, upending a book stand and then having to pick every single copy up and put it back.

Zack was priceless; he had interviewers up talking to him saying was he 'planning to take after his father's famous footsteps?' and 'which field?' Unfortunately for them, Zack's talents lie in the under-achieving world of gymnastics. Who know, maybe he might make the change to Hollywood and become 'the next Taylor Lautner'. Yes, that's right, he has been labeled that. Brother = disowned.

I was able to avoid the press for the most part; I did get asked when my modeling or acting career was going to start and if I had any undercover projects coming up…

"_Evangeline, Evangeline, over here!"_

_Evie turned at her name, a young, blonde reporter bustling toward her, recorder in hand a photographer in tow. The youngest Castle didn't speak, instead offered a close-lipped smile, her eyes twinkling. _

"_Tell me, Evangeline, when are you going to break into the professional world?" the woman asked, "It's been rumored you're starting an acting venture on Broadway, no less! Is this true?"_

_Raising an eyebrow, Evie shook her head, "Where are you hearing this?"_

"_It's been circling the trades," she replied, "so you are going to make a break onto the legitimate stage?"_

"_I'm only 13," Evie began, putting her extensive years of practice into play, "as far as Broadway is concerned, it's not something I plan to break into _at all_."_

"_Then what exactly might be your career aspirations, Evangeline?"_

_Evie stopped, mouth gaping for a moment. Not once in her life had she been asked what she wanted, only been told what she should be wanting. This was a first, and it was an opportunity; a chance to clear the air and tell the world what she _really_ wanted from her life._

"_I want to become a professional ballet dancer," Evie began to explain, smiling until the reporter offered up a loud cackle._

"_Really?" she added, "Ballet? Isn't that a bit mediocre for someone of your…standing?"_

_Evie froze; she didn't exactly know how she was supposed to reply to that._

"_What do you mean 'mediocre'?" she asked._

"_Well, I just mean that, how many famous ballerinas do you hear about every day?" the reporter continued unabashed, "Doesn't Broadway or Hollywood sound far more enticing?"_

"_No, it doesn't," Evie asserted, sitting back into her left hip, arms crossing over her chest._

"_Come on, surely the lure of the red carpet is calling to someone as talented and gorgeous as you," she added exasperatedly, "are you saying you haven't got any undercover projects happening?"_

"_I'm sure," Evie exclaimed, pushing past her toward her father, "No further questions!"_

It's really annoying when the press try to tell you what you're doing in your private life. It's even more interesting to see how adventurous they get with their guesses.

Still, I'm absolutely devoted to ballet, and not Broadway. Broadway is Grams' thing, not mine.

Speaking of devotion, Mom and Dad are still discussing her pending retirement. In my opinion, she's too young to retire, really. She's only 41. Her old Captain was working up until his mid-50's, but then he was killed in the line of duty. Actually, I think I kinda remember him; he would come round for poker a lot with Bob and a few others.

It was at his funeral that Mom was shot; I remember it, mostly because we were all standing next to Dad, who was standing next to Mom. The boys weren't looking at that moment, but I was. Dad shoved me out of the way, and I fell over as he dived at Mom. I saw her keel and fall, her body only mere feet from me.

I tried to crawl over to her. Mike grabbed me and held me down, then we followed Alexis and Gram out. I was only three years old.

And then there was the time before that when Mom and Dad nearly froze to death in a giant freezer, and apparently (although, I think Dad was just making up stories again) they nearly got blown up by a rogue bomb in the same day. There's a reason my Dad is a bestselling author…

Oh, and they've nearly drowned before too, and Dad was nearly blown up in a bank with Gram.

I swear, my parents have more lives than a Buddhist cat. Legit.

Still, she's managed to remain fairly incident-free for a while now. Touch wood. Dad stopped shadowing her a while back, said he had to stay home with us. I think he still goes into the station sometimes when he gets bored while he's writing. But, it has been a while since he's been to the 12th.

Mike had been talking to him the other night, and he told us all that Dad was trying to convince Mom to retire. Even though he insists the money is not a problem, that doesn't mean much to Mom. She's never been in it for the dough; if she were, she would have become a model or an actress, not a cop.

The thing that makes her such a good cop is the desire for truth, for the answers she didn't get until 15 years after she should have done. She has this amazing sense of devotion to the victim and their loved ones. I admire that in her, but it is a real pain in the ass when all you need is some good, motherly advice, and she's off playing the hero.

Thing is, the world already has enough heroes, least, in that respect. What about us? The little (well, not really) Castle family could sure do with a hero right now.

Someone that will saunter down the corridors late at night to make sure the windows are all locked, and that we're safe from the world. Someone who will tell us we'll always be safe, then be around, however discreetly, to prove it. Someone who will be downstairs cooking breakfast ready for when we all stumble sleepily down in the morning.

The same person who used to tuck me in, read me bedtime stories, kiss my neck when she was helping me with my homework, do my hair every day and know every song I would dance to.

I need my hero.


	10. Chapter 10

Tuesday March 2 2021 3:15am

I want my family back. Not this stupid, ridiculous excuse for one, the real deal. The one I had when I was a little girl, before Mom decided work was more important, before Dad started calling her in on it, before Mike was a prick, before Jack became popular, before Riley got his scholarship, before Zack become a champion. Back when I mattered.

You know what, I don't even _care_ anymore. I don't need a family, I've been living without one for long enough. Dad can drink his way through the rest of his life. Mom can work herself ragged until she calls the break room couch home. I can't wait for all my brothers to move out for college. I just want to _get out_.

**X X X X X **

_Evie ran downstairs at the sound of glass shattering. She rounded the corner, stopping just in time to see her mother slamming the front door. Her body was shaking, sobs escaping her as she leaned into the glass door. Evie could see blood on her hands, not much, the amount you got when you cut your hand on a can opener or something. _

_In this case, she imagined it was the broken glass on the kitchen floor, which she moved over to clean up. Evie bent down, hearing but choosing to ignore the quiet sobs of her mother, gathering up the pieces of glass carefully. She heard the crying move, from the front door to the couch, the broken spring squeaking as Kate's tiny frame plonked on the couch. _

_After disposing of the shards, Evie poured a glass of water and took it to the living room, leaving it on the coffee table for Kate, before she started to walk away._

"_Evie?"_

_The young girl stopped, turning back to her mother, who was gazing after her helplessly._

"_Thank you," she whispered, her arms curling tighter around her knees before she looked away. _

_Kate couldn't bear to look her only daughter in the eye; she had caused so much hurt in the last few years, never being there when she said she would or not returning phone calls to Rick when she should have done. All in all, it should be her who was kicked out of the apartment that night, but Rick had decided it was his turn to leave. See how she liked it…_

"_I'm not doing anything special," Evie replied, "I just don't want to hurt myself on a mess you made."_

_Her tone was blank and curt, Kate's shoulders shuddering. She didn't turn around, and nor did Evie as she strode back to her bedroom. She was stopped at the bottom of the stairs by her mother's voice again, still facing away from her._

"_Evie? I, uh…I never meant for this to happen," Kate murmured, as Evie turned on her heel, marching back to the living room angrily._

"_Oh really?" she shouted, "You didn't mean for this family to be ripped apart? You didn't mean to make Dad hate you? You didn't mean to –"_

_Evie stopped. The pain in her mother's eyes was almost too much to bear. She heard footsteps at the top of the stairs, turning to find her brothers moving down sleepily._

"_Evie, what's going on?" Mike asked, "Why are you shouting this early in the morning?"_

"_Where's Dad?" Jack asked, looking around, Riley beside him yawning equally as large. Zack was beside Evie now, looking at their mother solemnly. _

"_Mom, what's going on?" Riley asked, as Kate moved to stand, facing her five children, her tears all but dissipated as she tapped in to her police training. _

"_Kids, it's late, go back to bed, we'll talk in the morning –"_

"_No, we'll talk now," Mike demanded, taking charge as he usually did, "In case you haven't noticed, Mom, we've been walking on egg shells around you two."_

"_And I'm sorry, but –"_

"_But why, Mom?" Jack cut in, "Why have you guys been fighting?"_

"_Yeah, you've never fought before," Riley agreed, "Why the change?"_

"_It's because Mom cares more about her work than us," Zack said._

"_No, no that's not true at all," Kate interjected, "You know how much I love you all –"_

"_Then why are we falling apart?" Evie demanded, angry tears streaming down her cheeks, "Why are you letting this family fall to pieces?"_

"_Evie, please –"_

"_Tell us why, Mom," Evie demanded, "Why can't you be around more often?"_

_Kate fell silent, unable to combat the sincerity and emotion in her children's eyes. They were staring at her, waiting for an answer, but she couldn't find one, couldn't if she tried._

"_Well, that settles it," Mike murmured, and without issuing any sort of instruction, his siblings followed him gallantly up the stairs, leaving Kate standing alone in her huge living room. Slowly, she made her way back to her bedroom, shutting the door and crawling into the emptiness that was her bed. _

**X X X X X**

Mike told us to pack our things. Jack called Dad while Riley dialed for a cab. Zack and I were in charge of the bathroom things. It all moved quickly; one minute I was yelling at Mom in the living room, the next, I was running headlong into my father's arms. I had never been more grateful to see him in my entire life, and I had the feeling it was mutual. His face lit up, even though we did wake him at three in the morning, the minute he saw the five of us.

I just hope this isn't permanent.

**X X X X X**

"_Dad, why did you leave?" Mike asked. It was just him and his father, sitting on the balcony of the hotel room he'd rented for the next week. _

_Rick sighed, staring out over the city, his hand twirling the glass of scotch on the table. _

"_Because she needs to know what it feels like to be alone," Rick explained, "she needs to know there are things more important than her job."_

"_I don't think she knows how, Dad," Mike said, "I don't think she can live without her work."_

"_She can," Rick demanded, "She's done it before."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah, back when you were young," Rick mused, "You probably wouldn't remember, but she took three months off after an injury in the field. She told me she was considering not going back."_

_Mike looked at his father for a moment, confused, "Why did she go back?"_

"_She said she had to," Rick sighed, shaking his head, "but what she really needs now is to be with her family."_

**X X X X X**

Mike and Dad are downstairs. I want to go down to Dad; curl up in a ball in his arms and cry like I did when I broke my arm when I was six. Or the time when I got lost in a mall and I spent an hour crying under a clothes rack and when he found me he refused to let me go for the rest of the day. To be quite honest, I never wanted to let him go either. And the funny thing is, I thought I'd never feel more vulnerable than I did that day. Today, I did.

**X X X X X**

**Sorry for the very little diary entries, but I felt this chapter we really needed to see what was happening in real life rather than just from Evie's perspective. The importance of her siblings is pretty high right now. I may have to alter it so it's all real-time and the inserts are diary entries, but I want to hear what you guys prefer – diary entries or play by play?**

**Oh, and review!**

**Kayla x**


	11. Chapter 11

Wednesday March 3 2021 4:30pm

Dad is taking us out to dinner tonight. He's trying to act like there's nothing wrong, like our family isn't falling apart as we speak. But I know better; he's putting on a brave face for us, and I know it's commendable, but it's stupid. He shouldn't have to be acting this way, we're all old enough now to understand what's going on.

Mike thinks he's doing it so we don't get hurt, but what Dad doesn't know is we're already broken. Well, I don't know about the boys, but I know I am. I've seen them fight. I've seen Mom run out and cry. I had never seen her cry before. At least, not that I can remember.

We had to watch Dad drink his way through a countless amount of alcohol before he came to his senses. We've had to stand by and basically work through life on our own for the last few weeks. I know it seems melodramatic, but it's true; I've never felt more alone in my own family.

We're all kind of…drifting, not really talking to each other, just kinda passing by. It's really frustrating; even though I'm the only girl in our family (except for Mom and Alexis) I'm still really close to my brothers. We would tell each other everything, and they always seem to be there when I need them. And now that Mom's gone, I just kinda feel…lost.

**X X X X X**

_Evie sat on her bed, journal in her hand, pen shaking as she let sobs take over her body. She felt so vulnerable, more than she ever had. _

"_Evie, come on, it's time to –"_

_Rick stopped in the door way, face falling as he made his way slowly over to the bed. Even though he'd raised a now grown up daughter, Evie was completely different; he always felt like he couldn't get through to her the way Kate could. _

"_Evie, I know you miss your Mom, but –"_

"_I don't miss her, I hate her," Evie spat, slamming her journal closed and throwing it on her pillow. She was angry; angry at herself for leaving, angry at her mother for not following, angry at her father for not understanding. She was just _angry_._

"_Come on, Evie, that's not fair –"_

"_No, you know what's not fair?" Evie cried, standing up, escaping her father's embrace to stare down at him, "That she can't even find the time to take me to dancing. That she can't find the time to go to one of the boys' games or meets. But she can find the time to look out for _someone else's_ family."_

"_You know that's her job, Evie," Rick explained, his voice quiet, though still not entirely convincing to Evie or himself._

"_No!" she cried, "Her job, her _real_ job is to be there for her family! Why did she even have kids if she couldn't give up her job for us?"_

"_Evie –"_

"_But don't you agree, Dad?" she continued, "I know the boys do; we are _sick_ and _tired_ of being second best. Just this once, we want to –"_

"_Don't bring me into this!" Mike exclaimed, startling both Rick and Evie, staring in, fists taught, from the door frame._

"_Mike, what are you doing?" Evie cried._

"_You know Mom doesn't care about us!" he cried, "Or else she would have followed us by now!"_

"_Mike!"_

"_Evie, just shut up!" Mike shouted, "You know we're better here, with Dad, someone who actually _cares_ about us, why are you giving him such a hard time?"_

"_NO, YOU SHUT UP!" she screamed, storming forward and shoving his large, surprised frame out the door, "I'M SICK OF THIS! I'M SICK OF YOU! ALL OF YOU! I HATE THIS FAMILY, I – HATE – IT!"_

_With that, she pushed past her brother, running as fast as she could out the hotel door. She didn't stop to take the elevator, instead running for the stairs, slamming the door behind her, taking two steps at a time and spilling out onto the street, tears falling. _

_She had grown up in the city, knew the subway network like the back of her hand, racing to the nearest stop which, luckily enough, saw the 1 train just pulling up. Evie ran through the doors, found the most isolated seat she could find and curled up in a ball. _

_It was quicker than she thought to reach Canal Street, where she bounded of the train almost as quickly as she got on, racing down the sidewalk, dodging people heading out for dinner in SoHo. Broome Street was within her eyesight, her building only mere feet away when she felt arms grasp her middle, the force of the opposing motion knocking the wind out of her. _

"_Ah, no, let me go!" she cried, her feet lifting off the ground, kicking and flailing, her arms reaching for her now receding loft._

"_Let me go, let me go!" Evie screamed, her voice hoarse, hair flopping over her face as she saw a familiar brunette step out of the building. _

"_Mommy, help me!" she shouted, trying to wrangle her way out of her captor's grasp, unsuccessfully as the alley shadows closed in on her._

"_MOMMY!"_

**X X X X X **

**I'm really nasty, I know; I don't write for ages, then I leave you with THIS! Teehee! **

**Anyways, I just wanted to let y'all know that I have absolutely not forgotten about ANY of my stories, but uni has kind of been taking over my life. I have some time this weekend (hopefully!) so I'll try my best to get more out for this and my other stories.**

**Kayla x**


	12. The Kidnapping

Thursday March 4 2021 1:15am

It's dark here. And quiet. But sometimes, there are loud noises, shouting, sharp bangs that make me jump. There are only three voices that I can hear, all of them are men. They're keeping me in a room with a steel door and bars on the windows. There's a disgusting arm chair in the corner with a blanket on it. Not a warm one though; it looks like it's made from the thinnest kind of cotton in the world. There's a little table with a chair, and there was a notebook on it. That's where I'm writing now. I guess they need to keep me entertained. There's a cat flap on the door; I don't know why it's there, but it's too small for me too fit out of.

I just want to go home. I don't like it here; why am even here anyway? What do they want from me? Where's my Mom? Does she know that I'm gone? I don't know whether she saw me before I went into the alley or not.

I hope she did.

** X**

"_MOMMY!"_

_Kate's eyes darted across the street just in time to see the dark figure pulling the small frame of her daughter into the alley way. As fast as she could, she was across the street, sprinting between the buildings, dodging trash and puddles. She could see flailing legs disappear around a corner just ahead, and she urged herself forward faster, shouting for Evie as she went. _

"_EVIE! EVIE, COME BACK!"_

_Kate reached the place where she'd seen Evie disappear, only to find it wasn't a corner, it was a door. Fists clenched, she banged as hard as she could, screaming and sobbing for her little girl on the other side of the door, with no reply. There weren't even any noises from the other side. When she stopped, took a few staggering, disoriented steps back, she realized just how silent it was in this SoHo alley. _

_She also took notice of the tears streaming down her face, her shortness of breath from both unsuccessfully chasing after her daughter's captor and the heaving sobs in her chest. As she stumbled back to the street and her apartment, she couldn't see where her feet were landing, but she somehow managed to make it out. _

_Pulling her phone out of her pocket, Kate went to her recent calls list and hit her husband's number. He had called only about fifteen minutes earlier to say that Evie had run off, and would most likely end up back at Broome Street. Sure enough, she had._

_After a few moments, Rick picked up._

"_Have you got her?"_

_The panic, hope and despair that was all evident in Rick's voice caused Kate to lose the composure she'd just regained in the night air. _

"_Oh, Rick, she's gone! Gone!"_

"_Gone, what do you mean gone?" Rick replied quickly, "Kate, what happened?"_

"_I was waiting in the lobby for her, and would walk outside every few minutes, and I walked out and I heard her calling for me, she was so scared, Rick, just so scared…."_

_An internal realization came over Kate, as she thought of all the things she could have done to get to her quicker. She let her own daughter slip out from between her fingers._

"_Kate, where is she? Is she okay? Kate, please, stop crying, tell me what's going on!"_

"_She's gone, Rick! A guy in the alley across the street –"_

"_What did he do to her?" he demanded, his voice of panic, anger and urgency. He sounded as though he was going to turn into the Incredible Hulk at any second._

_Kate was surprised at the quietness of her voice, the strength of her tears in her throat, stopping her from speaking as she sobbed._

"_He took her, grabbed her and ran," she explained quietly, her tears audible as she spoke, "I thought they'd gone around a corner, and I kept running, but they were gone. I banged on the door, I screamed for her, Rick, but she was gone."_

"_Katie, don't go anywhere, I'm coming home."_

** X**

I don't know what time it is anymore. It hasn't gotten lighter or darker in a long time. I don't know whether it's night or day, morning or afternoon. I don't know why I'm here or who is out there. They're always talking, but it's muffled. I'm terrified that if I go to the door and try to hear what they're saying, they'll find out. Not that it matters; it's not like I can tell anybody where I am. I don't even know where I am. I think it's kind of a good thing that Mom saw me get kidnapped. At least they have some sort of lead to try and find me. What if Mom hadn't been there? What would have happened then? Would I still be alive tomorrow? Or the next day?

The door, it's op –

_Evie stopped, her eyes darting up as the door came flying open. She threw the pen and paper into the corner, pushed herself as far back into the wall as she could. Her eyes were wide with fear, and she could feel her breath becoming shorter, her heartbeat becoming faster._

_It was a different man this time, a tall man with blonde hair and pale skin. He looked menacing, his face stuck in a permanent scowl as he came lunging toward her. She screamed as he grabbed her by the arm, pulled her viciously away from the wall and wrenched her jacket from her frame. _

"_Let go of me!" Evie whimpered, a sharp pain in her right shoulder causing her to cry out before she was dropped roughly back to the floor, sobbing._

"_Shut up," ordered the man, his voice a low sort of growl that Evie had no intention of defying. Her eyes were closed, a hand clutching her throbbing shoulder, as a sound caught her ears. It was the sound you heard when metal slid over metal, like a knife and fork, or when you sharpened a blade. _

"_Get over here," he demanded, stepping forward again, this time with more intent and malice, his left hand aiming for her already injured right arm._

"_NO! NO, GET AWAY!"_

_Searing pain left her writhing in the man's arms, her small frame becoming loose, before she felt herself go flying through the air, colliding with a wall, her body going limp. She heard him chuckle, his pounding steps get fainter and the loud bang of the door slamming shut. Her shoulder hurt; there was a hot, sticky sensation below her body and a stinging in her right arm. _

_She was crying, sobbing, wishing more than anything that her mother had made it to that door in time…_

** X**

**Well, I thought I should resolve the first hangover, but I'm sure you're all wondering what will happen next. Don't worry, I won't elongate the process too much. And I won't leave her too scarred. Trust me, it's very hard to torture poor Evie; she's already been through a lot for a 13 year old girl. **

**You'll just have to wait and see!**

**Again, apologies for the lateness, I have no excuses aside from my own unmotivation and laziness. **

**Kayla x**


	13. It's Going To Be OkayMaybe

**More Evie; because I read the last chapter and just had to help the poor girl. **

** X**

Friday March 5, 2021

_Evie didn't know how much time had passed. But she did know that it was cold. It was freezing in fact, and she couldn't move a muscle. She hadn't opened her eyes in hours, nor had she dared to wiggle a finger. _

_She was fairly sure her arm had stopped bleeding, but that didn't mean the pain was gone. Her shoulder was throbbing, but there was nothing she could do about it. If her Mom were here, she would pull her into the world's softest, warmest hug, and everything would be okay. But not here. Here, it was cold, and dark, and painful. All the time._

_There was a banging outside again and incoherent shouts and yells, and Evie felt her heart quicken as she hoped with all her might it wasn't the tall, blonde man to come and beat her again. The door swung open and she whimpered, eyes squeezing as tightly shut as possible. _

_There were heavy, shuffling footsteps, before arms were under her shoulders and legs, lifting her up into muscular arms. She daren't move, in case it was the blonde man. Now that the door was open, she could hear the shouting escalating and becoming more and more malicious. There were gunshots, and she felt her captor take her closer to the noise. _

_Her whole body tensed, then they stopped, and she allowed herself to open her eyes just a crack. As she did, the person holding her began to run, ducking low, shielding her from the gunfire as they ran. Evie had let her eyes pull shut again, not wanting to see the bullet that could potentially hit her. _

_Before she knew it, the noise was getting quieter. Well, the shouting and the gunshots anyway. The sound of traffic accompanied by blinding light smashing into her eyelids told her she was outside, in the warmth of the sun. There were rushed, panicked voices, one of them Evie recognized as her eyes came flying open._

"_I got her Castle, she's gonna be okay," came the urgent voice of Lanie, as the muscular arms were swapped out for what felt like a stretcher. As her body was able to come out of the foetal position she'd been stuck in for hours, she cried as the pain hit her all at once._

"_Lanie?" the young girl choked, her voice rasped and scratchy, her throat protesting profusely._

"_Shh, it's okay, munchkin, we're gonna get you out of here," came another voice she knew, along with a hand stroking over her blood-soaked hair._

"_Daddy –"_

_She tried to reach her arm up, before screaming in pain, as sharp pains shot through her shoulder._

"_Shh, it's okay, baby…"_

** X**

The hospital room is really bright. Like, really,_ really_, bright. Maybe it's because I haven't opened my eyes in hours. Maybe it's because my head is pounding. I don't know.

My mom is outside talking to the doctors with my dad. My brothers are out there too, but they're just in the waiting room. My arm is all bandaged, and it's in a sling for my shoulder. It doesn't hurt that much anymore, but maybe that's just because I've got about a gazillion needles hanging out of my other hand.

Okay, maybe not a gazillion, but you get my point. The doctor told me I was really lucky that I didn't lose more blood. He told me that because I was laying on the cut, it was able to clot or something, so I didn't bleed out. Apparently it was quite the gash, needed stitches and everything. I wasn't paying attention, I was watching my parents through the open door.

Dad looked like a wreck; the last time I'd seen him like that was when Mom was shot when I was three. Mom herself looked like she would rather have been shot. My brothers were in the waiting room with Gram and Grandpa.

I want to go home, but Mom said I'll have to stay here for a little while. I don't want to, but it's apparently safer for me to be here, and I need to get more tests and talk to some people. I asked Mom if she caught the guys who did this. She kinda nodded but looked like she was in pain at the same time. I don't know what that means…

** X**

_The door was removed as carefully and as silently as possible, as Kate led her Kevlar-clad team through the doorway. Some had rifles, most had hand guns, like her. Pushing ahead, she saw a group of three men, all middle aged, one blonde, two dark-haired. The blonde one looked ready for blood. _

_She eyed her team, who all nodded, before she turned back, counting herself in in her head._

"_NYPD! HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!" she shouted, racing forward with Ryan and Esposito flanking her, the remainder of the group following suit. The three men stood almost lazily, raising their arms and began to shoot. Every police officer fired back, most of their shots on target, but the opposing men too quick for them. _

_Kate felt a blow to her chest that nearly knocked her off her feet, and turned back to see the blonde man eyeing her off menacingly. He took another shot, Kate diving behind a pole for cover. She turned and saw Rick racing away with Evie in his arms, relieved her little girl was okay. Looking back to her team, the two dark-haired men were in cuffs, and the blonde was still firing madly. His attention was elsewhere, and Kate saw her chance._

_Standing quickly, gun up, she pulled the trigger before she could think. The bullet struck him square in the chest, before he seized, then keeled over. He lay very still, the blood seeping from holes in his chest and back._

_Staggering back, Kate leaned against the wall, unable to move. She reached a hand up to where she still felt a throbbing earlier, finding there was no blood, but there would definitely be a bruise later. _

_Her daughter was safe, the perpetrators caught. Well, two of them caught. The other was…well, she'd rather not think about it if she could. _

"_You good, Beckett?"_

_Esposito's voice startled her momentarily, but it pulled her back to reality enough that she were able to move. _

_As she moved outside, she saw the ambulance pulling away, and Rick racing toward her._

"_I didn't want to leave without you –"_

"_What about Evie?" Kate asked, panicked, "Is she okay? She's not alone is she?"_

"_No, Kate, Lanie's with her," he added soothingly, a hand running through her hair as he spoke, tugging her along, "I didn't want to leave you here."_

_Taking a moment, Kate nodded, before allowing herself to be pulled to the waiting car that would follow her daughter to the hospital. _

** X**

They're going to ask me questions about what the blonde man did to me. I don't want to talk about. It was scary. It hurt. I don't want to talk about it. Ever. I don't even want to think about it.

And nobody will ever know…


	14. The Aftermath

Saturday March 6, 2021 11:30am

Mom has taken some time off work to stay home and be with us. Well, that's what she says, but really it's just to be with me. To be honest, she didn't really need to, but I'm glad she did. Last night, she stayed up with me, because I didn't really want to go to sleep.

Every time I close my eyes, I'm not sure whether I'm going to wake up at home or in that room. But I'm sometimes still too afraid to move if I hear a noise.

Last night, my mom stayed in my room with me, and I guess it helped. She was right beside me, and hugging me all night, and it made it warm. And I suppose when I didn't know where I was, I would hear her breathing, and it would remind me I was at home.

I still didn't sleep very much, but when I woke up in the morning, Mom was still there. She didn't move all night, and I'm guessing she probably didn't sleep very much either.

This morning, we got up early and went to Jack's baseball game, which was really fun. We've never gone as a family before, normally it's just Dad and I, or maybe Riley as well. Actually, Zack didn't go, only because he had training at 6am and he has a really important meet in a couple of weeks. But the rest of us went, and Jack's team won. I don't really understand baseball, but my Mom does, so I just kinda followed her lead when she cheered.

Once we pick up Zack, we're going to lunch at a real fancy restaurant in the city, one of Dad's favorites. Mom is going to help me get ready soon, but she's just on the phone to someone at work, probably the Captain to organize the leave she says she's taking. Dad is with the boys, I'm not sure what they're doing, but I might go down soon to check it out.

We don't get any papers at the moment, or magazines. Mom and Dad are trying to keep me from knowing about any of what's going on in the media about what happened to me, but I Googled it. There are some crazy stories about what happened to me, and about what I'm apparently doing now in the 'aftermath'. A lot of people want interviews with me, but Dad has been really adamant that there will be absolutely no interviews. I'm glad, because I really don't want to talk to any reporters about what happened. Although, I never want to talk to reporters at all, so you know.

But Dad has stepped up the security around here, just to keep out the paparazzi.

Oh, hold on, Dad wants me…

** X**

"_Evie!" Rick called, putting the phone down on the desk in front of him. He'd sent the boys to take the trash out, meaning he and Evie could talk between themselves without an audience. Kate was in the bedroom, but she had just finished her own call to work, and was now moving into the study. _

_Hearing the footsteps on the stairs, Rick began to quickly fill in Kate before Evie arrived in the room._

"_Yeah, Dad?" _

_Kate moved slowly around the desk toward her daughter, gesturing for her to come back into the living room, an arm falling around Evie's shoulders. She motioned with her free hand for Rick to follow, as they took their seats on the couch, Evie between her parents, both having one arm around her, the other on her knees. Evie wasn't sure what was going on, but she figured it had something to do with what had happened over the last few days. _

"_Evie," Kate began hesitantly, "your father just got off the phone with our attorney."_

_There was a quick pause, as Evie dropped her eyes from her mother's, taking a moment to think. She knew what this call meant; there had been a date set for the hearing for the two men who were arrested for kidnapping her. _

"_The hearing is on Monday morning," Rick continued, "at 9 o'clock."_

_Evie nodded lamely. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to be feeling at this point. And, there was a kind of sick feeling in her gut, like she didn't quite know what would happen. She felt her mother's arm pull tighter around her, a kiss placed just above her left ear. _

"_We're all going to go," Kate said, her daughter's eyes lifting to hers, "your father and I, your brothers, Gram and Grandpa. We'll all come with you."_

"_Who has to talk?" Evie asked, ignoring her mother for the moment._

"_Well," Rick started, "they're being tried for kidnapping, holding a hostage, assault –"_

"_The brown-haired men never touched me," Evie interrupted, "they didn't do anything to me except the taller one was the one that kidnapped me. It was all the blonde one."_

"_Evie, they still have to be tried for it," Kate reasoned, "regardless of whether they actually did it, they're still associates."_

"_But –"_

"_Evie, sweetie, it'll be fine," Rick assured, "everyone is going to say what they need to say and we'll see what happens."_

"_As long as you tell them the truth, it'll be fine," Kate added, "it'll all be okay."_

_Giving a quick nod, Evie leaned into her mother's embrace as Rick pulled the two closer to him._

"_Mm, my two girls," he murmured, leaving both Kate and Evie grinning._

"_But Evie?"_

"_Yeah Mom?"_

"_Don't worry, okay?" she said, their matching eyes meeting for the moment, Kate's hand moving from Evie's knee to her cheek, "We're going to get this all sorted out."_

** X**

I hope Mom is right, that it will all get sorted out. Dad says our attorney is coming to speak to us on Sunday morning before we go to Grandpa's house. He says that he will help us with what to tell the judge and what to leave out. I hope he doesn't tell me not to say too much; I probably won't remember what not to say. Mom says it's not likely that he'll let me leave much out anyways.

Mom has to talk too, since she was the lead officer. In fact, most of the people Mom works with have to talk; Javi, Kevin, Lanie, the Captain. Dad doesn't have too, which is a good thing. I don't know why, it just is.

I just want it all to be over. Dad said they are going to try and get the maximum charge for them both, but he said the one who actually did the kidnapping would get longer than the other guy. But we really don't know what the reason behind my kidnapping was, or what they would get out of it.

I can't think why anyone would want to kidnap a girl like me, I'm nothing special.


	15. The Meeting Before The Hearing

Sunday March 7, 2021 10:30am

The attorney, a Mr. Douglas Brown, just left. He told me to answer every question they asked me as truthfully as possible. He said not to leave anything out or add anything in. Just tell them straight.

And Mr. Brown wasn't the only one who came this morning; everyone who had to testify was pretty much there. There was my Mom, Detectives Ryan and Esposito were there, Captain Gates, a couple of the uniforms that assisted Mom sometimes, Lanie was there…

It was quite the gathering, really. Mom said she had to testify as a cop, not as my Mom, because she was part of the team that rescued me. Rescued doesn't seem the right word, but it's all I can think of right now. Anyway, Javi and Kevin have to talk about how and where they found me, then the background on all the kidnappers, including the blonde one.

They talked about it a bit today, but I only heard parts of it; Mom and Dad sent me out of the room. I don't know why, I'm going to hear it all tomorrow anyway, but I guess they're just trying to protect me.

Lanie has to talk about my injuries and how I got them. The Captain has to tell them about the rescue and all the evidence they found against the men. The officers have to say what they saw and did to back up the detectives.

And I have to tell them everything.

** X**

_There was a ring at the doorbell, and Evie sat up straight in her seat. She knew it was the attorney, and she felt her mother's arm tightened around her as her father went for the door. _

_She watched the two men shake hands, as Rick allowed him inside, followed closely by Javi and Kevin. Evie hadn't known they were coming, giving a small nod of her head back at their painful attempts at a smile. It was a grim morning, in Evie's opinion, and she didn't particularly care for it to go on much longer, but they were yet to start. _

_Captain Gates, Lanie and a couple more officers arrived only moments later, and they all convened in the living room, Evie sat snug between her parents, the rest of their company scattered around armchairs and sofas. _

"_Right, well, I suppose we had better start then," Mr. Brown coughed, slapping a file down on the table and pulling it open. On top was a headshot of the blonde man._

_Evie looked away, down at the floor by Kevin's feet; there weren't any eyes staring back at her down there. While she was looking the other way, Mr. Brown slid the picture to the back of the file, pulling out the photos of the two brown-haired men and laying them side by side._

"_Evie," he started, her eyes looking cautiously back to the table, "these are the two men on trial."_

_Looking at them in photos, Evie noticed they looked quite more similar to one another than she had thought. They looked almost harmless in their pictures, but Evie knew they were anything but._

"_They are Jason and Rufus Keusemann," Mr. Brown continued, "they're brothers who are well known guns for hire."_

_Kate felt her daughter stiffen in her seat, pulling her just half an inch closer, secretly hoping she would never venture much further away than that._

"_What did they want with me?" Evie said, her voice small, shaky._

"_They're just the henchmen," Captain Gates explained, "the one who organized this was the blonde man, Martin Wylam."_

_Evie had only seen Captain Gates a few times before; she was a hard, professional woman, who Evie suspected was much softer around the edges than she let on. _

"_We think they weren't really after you, exactly," Kevin piped up, looking between the worried looks on the faces of Rick and Kate, to the frightened one of Evie, "Wylam needed money to flee; he was a wanted man in twelve states –"_

"_What's that got to do with me?" Evie demanded, looking from Kevin back to the two photos on the table, "Or these two? If the blonde man needed money, how could he hire them?"_

"_They were old friends," Javi said, "they were all in the service together in '05 and '06. They owed him a favor."_

_Evie sat back, thinking for a moment; how does a man who fights for his country suddenly become one of the most wanted criminals in the US? Well, maybe not most wanted, but definitely sought after. _

"_The Keusemanns were hesitant," Mr. Brown continued, "they knew why Wylam was on the run, what he had done before."_

"_What had he done before?" Evie asked, and she was uncomfortably surprised at the silence she was met with. Every adult looked amongst each other worriedly, most of them silently questioning whether they should share their knowledge with the young girl. _

_Before they could decide, Evie heard the quiet voice of her mother beside her._

"_He was wanted for juvenile attacks, manslaughter and murder," Kate said quickly, her eyes adamantly content on Evie's. _

_The young girl felt a sudden wave of terror, for having been so close to him, a wave of sorrow, for all the children who hadn't survived as she had, and then of relief, that he was gone from the world. Still, it did not erase the things he had done, the lives and families he had destroyed. Evie felt almost angry at the thought, but she was forced to put such thought aside, as her mother gave a gentle nudge from her left. _

"_So you see, Miss Castle," Captain Gates murmured, "despite what you have been through, you are quite lucky."_

"_Lucky?" Rick exclaimed, standing up in anger, pacing the space between the coffee table and the sofa, "How on earth is she lucky?"_

"_Rick, sit down," Kate murmured, reaching past Evie to tug gently on his shirt. He looked back at her, eyes wild, but at the same time he was hurting. He sat down slowly, giving a silent nod of apology to Captain Gates and the others in the room. _

_Evie knew what Captain Gates meant; yes, she had been hurt, tortured, probably killed eventually, but she wasn't murdered. She had been able to come home to her mother and father and brothers. _

"_What we have to do now is worry about these two," Mr. Brown said, pointing to the Keusemann brothers, "although they are only accessories to Wylam's abuse, they carried out the kidnapping. So, Evie, I need for you to explain exactly what happened when you were kidnapped. Not while you were captive, just how you came to be so."_

_He added the last part for the fear that had suddenly erupted in her eyes. Mr. Brown, of course, knew a majority of what had happened, as did most of those in the room, as they were part of the investigation. That didn't mean that Evie was ready to tell it._

"_Umm, well, I was running along Broome Street," she started, "and I was almost at my building, only a couple of doors down across the street, and then I was stopped. Arms grabbed me around the middle and lifted me up, while I was shouting for Mom –"_

"_And Kate, you recall this?" Mr. Brown asked, to which Kate nodded, "Right, go on, Evie."_

"_And then he ran down the alleyway and into a door carrying me, with the other one running ahead to hold the door open," Evie explained, "and when they got there, the one holding me threw me into the room, and then they slammed the door shut. That's the last thing I remember, because I must have hit my head when they threw me. I think there was a wall behind me…"_

"_So you were physically harmed by the brown-haired men?" Mr. Brown asked._

_Evie nodded, "Though I couldn't say which one. It was dark, and they're too similar."_

"_It's alright, we know which one actually grabbed you," Kevin assured, a small smile on his face. _

"_And from then on, Evie," Mr. Brown began cautiously, "just a simple yes or no will do, was it only the blonde man you saw?"_

_With a slow nod, Evie was met with a mix of both relief and frustration, though she wasn't sure why. _

"_Okay, Evie, well, that's all we need from you at the moment," Mr. Brown said, "thank you."_

_There was a chorus of thank you's from the rest of the room, as Kate slowly stood up, gesturing for Evie to follow her. Slowly, amidst quiet chattering behind them, Kate led her daughter upstairs, knowing that the boys would probably be close by, eavesdropping._

"_Okay, Evie, we're all going to have a talk downstairs about some of things the rest of us have to say," Kate explained, so you and the boys can wait up here. We'll be done very soon, then we can go to Grandpa's."_

_Evie didn't say anything, only nodded, reaching forward to clamp herself around her mother's waist. Tearfully, Kate pulled Evie close, not daring to let her go for at least another good minute. She could feel the heaving sobs of the overwhelmed girl, and Kate wished more than anything she could make it all go away. It pained her to see Evie, a normally composed and confident girl, like this. _

"_Okay, go and keep yourself occupied, we'll be done soon, okay?" Kate repeated, slowly releasing Evie and letting her walk slowly off to her bedroom. _

** X**

We're going to Grandpa's now. I stayed in my room while they finished the meeting downstairs, and it seemed to take forever, but it was only about 20 minutes. The boys came in and asked what was going to happen, and I said I didn't know. Well, I don't, because it hasn't happened yet.

I hope that they go to prison for a long time. Not just for what they did to me, but also because I'm sure they will have done plenty of other bad things in their time.

As well, I kinda wish the blonde man, Martin Wylam, I wish he was captured rather than killed. I think he got the easy way out, if you ask me, being killed. Now he doesn't have to rot in prison, or pay for all that he has taken from people.

But most of all, I wish this were over.

** X**

**Sorry for the delay, had my head muddle by Christmas nonsense! I would have done a Christmas chapter here, but since it's March, I don't suppose it would fit in too well!**

**Merry Christmas everyone!**

**Kayla x**


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